Ethereal Agriculture, # 4— “Groceries, Further Divided”

They had just unloaded a cargo of cold carrot juice, cold cider, and spiced hard cider, with a fifth kept in reserve for the consumption of Jerrick and his farmhand. They also hauled some baskets of apples. These were simply shoved gently into the Portal Willow, and if someone in the Multiverse was willing to buy it, they received Coin. It was harder than it sounded, as even though there were billions of potential buyers, there was also potentially billions in competition. Yet although Jerrick’s produce wasn’t special, it was plenty edible and met the needs of the poorer side of the Cosmos.

 Today gave them considerably more coin than usual, as carrot juice was prized over ordinary carrots, and somewhere out there in the Universe, there was always demand for palatable alcohol. The apples supplemented this Coin, and they finally (for the nonce) had enough (salted) cheese and (salted) butter to make Baker happy.

Supposedly, viable fishing would occur once they had enough Affluence on the Plane of Flora. An ostensible year had gone by, eking out a poor, humble living on Golden Apple farm, when Baker in particular nearly collapsed in relief to enjoy ranch dressing and soft toilet paper.

After the first year, possibilities opened up. The juice press made life worth living, as cold carrot juice was a fine beverage, and along with the cider and its accompanying revenue, they could afford ranch dressing as often as they needed it.

Usually.

“Look at this,” said Baker, “money that isn’t spoken for. I think I might spend it on pinwheels.”

Jerrick and Olive laughed.

“I know you like your bacon,” said Jerrick, “but consumption is the enemy to growth.”

“I’ve played enough video games to know that,” said Baker, “It’s just that when my stomach’s growling, I need some good grease.”

“Well, variety is the spice of life.”

“If we could fish, it might take the edge off,” said Olive, “how does the plane of Flora handle this, exactly?”

“There are no limits to expansion, in theory,” said Jerrick, “because Flora responds to how much space you need. But you still have to buy the land.”

“We have to buy a whole pond?” said Baker.

“Take it easy, Baker,” said Olive, “remember at the beginning it was all cukes, carrots, apples and potatoes? We’ve been able to afford new fats and proteins every week since then!”

In the end, Baker was fine, but what he really mourned was never again tasting a buffalo chicken pizza from his favorite pizza place (Gladly Pizza).

Or at least seemingly never.

After checking their net present value, It would take an entire summer’s worth of produce to get enough Coin to buy a pond among the three of them. But that was before all their costs were worked in, everything from toothpaste, toilet paper, vegetable oil, and meager helpings of beef and chicken.

“We’re gonna birth new chickens and goats. Growth is coming,” said Jerrick.

With new animals came new chores, but it would increase their output.

Just then, a boy emerged from the Portal Willow.

“Wow,” he said, “So this is Flora?”

“It’s about time someone else showed up,” said Jerrick.

Olive and Baker were bewildered.

“Is this how new people arrive?” said Baker.

The boy, of ostensible African descent, said, “Hi, I’m Kendo. Are you my new family?”

The three Golden Apple Farmers greeted and introduced themselves to Kendo.

“Do you have anything to eat?” he said.

Baker perspired. In the early days, this type of anxiety would cause him to have pimples, but now that there wasn’t as much grease in his diet, his sweat was relatively clean.

“Four people?” said Baker, “Groceries are gonna go through the roof.”

“Human resources are everything, Baker,” said Olive.

“It’s true,” said Jerrick, “especially a young person. They develop good habits if they start early.”

“Right. Those.”

“We have apples, eggs, cheese, and vegetables,” said Jerrick, “what would you like?”

Kendo appeared to be happy to be eating anything, but he also wanted to play videogames and surf the internet.

“You and me both, buddy,” said Baker, “But you’re probably less of an addict than I was.”

That turned out to only be partially true, because Baker accepted the necessity of ‘adulting’ with mournful resignation, whereas Kendo had grown up with the expectation that boys ought to be able to play videogames if they had a chance. In other words, he was a boy from the same era as Baker.

They opted as “light touch” when acclimating Kendo to his new home, which was assumed their responsibility to give him, because that’s how things worked on the Plane of Flora. He was sloppy at tending to the animals and his other chores, but the three of them knew he wouldn’t have much of a choice other than to get used to no TV, devices, or other modern luxuries.

Once he saw he had nothing better to do, and began to understand that work was necessary to get to eat many things he wanted, and he would receive more attention and approval when he did his chores, he began to learn to take care of them as a fact of life. But he didn’t like it at first, and seemed to resent the three farmers, as if it was their fault.

“Try to enjoy everything you do, Kendo,” said Jerrick, “even if it’s just getting down in the dirt and thinning the carrots.”

“This is boring,” he said.

“It’ll stay boring, as long as you think so.”

Kendo responded with sullen silence.

“Come, baby boy,” said Olive, “we’ll make every night a card night, if you learn to grow up with us.”

Kendo was interested in cards, but for weeks he longed for the high-tech luxuries from Terra, their homeworld. Also, he was used to sleeping next to his sister and cousin, and so for a time he shared a bed with Olive.

Baker’s nature was jealousy for human contact, but he fought to suppress it. Olive was just giving Kendo warmth.

Unfortunately, for the weeks that followed, Kendo ate more than he was worth, and Baker didn’t like how he didn’t conserve the things that were expensive (on the plane of Flora), like salt, salad dressing, pepper, or cold spiced cider. He refused to drink carrot juice.

But with Jerrick’s unfailing kindness and tutelage, along with Olive’s energy and Baker’s restraint, Kendo was particularly helpful in taking care of chickens in the months ahead.